Friday, July 27, 2012

MAJOR CANINE ORGANIZATION ENDORSES ROMNEY DESPITE ROOF INCIDENT

New York, NY--27 July 2012.

The Union of Concerned Jack Russells at its biennial Manhattan convention today issued a statement endorsing former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney for U.S. president in November. The statement said that the terrier union "is prepared to endorse Governor Romney whole-heartedly and without reservation", calling the former governor "a longstanding supporter of the canine community" who had "stood with us throughout thick and thin." The organization called on "all members of the community" to join with them in support of the former Bay State official.

Convention attendees reported privately that the Romney endorsement was somewhat controversial due to media reports that the former governor had once driven a long distance with a dog on the roof of his family car. The practice of transporting dogs in this manner has been criticized by the UCJR and other canine organizations. The UCJR said that while this incident showed "an alarming degree of callous insensitivity",  Mr. Romney had subsequently apologized to the UCJR and had renounced the practice. 

UCJR president and executive director Mr. N. Russell, himself a terrier, said that the decision to endorse Mr. Romney was due principally to the admission by the  incumbent Democrat, President Barack Obama, that he had engaged in the practice of canophagia during his youth. The UCJR has unconditionally condemned canophagia, and has defined the practice as "impermissible under all circumstances in all countries at all times."

While acknowledging that the Obama family have not eaten their current dog, the union said that this was an inadequate safeguard. The union has called upon the First Lady, Mrs. Michelle Obama, to confirm that she will refrain from cooking, eating or serving the family's current dog or any subsequent family dogs in future. While both of the president's daughters have made emphatic verbal statements in this regard, the union has requested a clear statement in writing. An aide to White House press secretary Jay Carney said that the family's position on this subject has been fully clarified, but refused to make the Obama dog available to reporters despite repeated requests.

Convention attendees indicated that a secondary factor in the union's endorsement decision was Mr. Obama's devout Muslim faith, which is widely understood to be inimical to the canine community. The Muslim "Quran" teaches (unfairly, according to the union) that dogs are unclean. The terrier union has condemned Islamic anticaninism as extreme, bigoted and out of place in the modern era. Aside from its condemnation of Islamic anticaninism, the UCJR is not known to have taken other religious positions. Mr. Russell said that the union accepts terriers of all denominations except Islam, Catophilic Egyptian and all Korean religions.

While it did not directly influence the UCJR's decision to endorse Romney, union members noted that a number of catophilic organizations had endorsed Mr. Obama in 2008 and are expected to do so again in the 2012 election  cycle. The UCJR publicly opposes cats, whom it criticizes for what it describes as their "filth, smell, untrustworthy character, disgusting personal behavior and false beliefs". The suppression  of cats for for moral and other reasons has been a longstanding terrier tradition. "We aren't going to apologize for that," a spokesman for Mr. Russell said.

There was no immediate reaction to the UCJR's endorsement from either campaign, although a Romney staffer, who requested anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss the issue, said that while Mr. Romney welcomes all endorsements, the campaign had no plans to comment on the dog/cat issue. "This is just not going to be an issue for us," he said, "we don't want to go there."

The UCJR is a major canine 501(c)3 nonprofit organization dedicated to the advancement and protection of Jack Russell Terriers, and should not be confused with the National Association for the Advancement of  Jack Russells, a similar organization. The UCJR's well-known slogan is "We Kill Cats Today for a Better Tomorrow For Everyone".

Press inquiries may be directed to Mr. Russell's secretary, Ms. R. Russell at rosier@ucjr.com.




Saturday, October 16, 2010

Our platform

1.  For Jack Russells, it's all give and not much get. Other breeds sleep all day and get more food than we get.
2. Small is beautiful. Just because we're small, doesn't mean we aren't smarter than labs, retrievers, and other large, dumb dogs who don't even have their own websites.
3. We just want what's due to us, nothing more. We are not a militant organization, not yet. However, we are affiliated with the ASPCA, and we are talking to PETA.
4. We are going global (Europe for now), and you can't stop us.
5. We have a publicist, and it's only a matter of time until we are on Good Morning America.
6. Our guys are already in touch with the White House.

Welcome to the Union of Concerned Jack Russells

Warning: 
This website has been created by Jack Russells for Jack Russells.  It is not for pet owners, who are not welcome. Our website is intended to provide a forum for terriers to share our unique issues and concerns, including our legitimate grievances. Over time, we will establish forums for our various concerns (food preferences, veterinary affairs, unfairness, neglect, cats, birds, etc.).
We welcome participation by legitimate members in the first online forum for our breed. Please do not share this url with humans, cats or other breeds. They can all go to hell. as far as the UCJR organization is concerned.